The random thoughts of a genius...er...gene nash.
timber!
Published on January 1, 2006 By Gene Nash In Life Journals

I spent the week in the hospital.

When I tried to get up from bed last Monday, the world suddenly spun and went black and I toppled to the floor. Timber! My left hand and the left side of my face went numb. Even while laying there, the world still seemed to spin wildly. After a few minutes I tried standing up again. Same result.

I'd fallen and I couldn't get up.

I thought I should go to the emergency room and get checked out. Ever since Harry Reid had his little incident, I've been subjected to PSA after PSA exhorting me to immediately seek help at the first sign of anything stroke-like, because -- according to them -- each second equals one more bit of dead brain. The PSA extols the new wonder drugs and treatment interventions that can save your mental faculties if only given quickly enough, not unlike immediately loading up possible heart attack victims with aspirin.

Here's where I start getting pissed.

The ambulance was reluctant to take me because they didn't think it was an emergency and weren't sure my insurance would pay for it. Fine %^$& off, I'll find my own way there.

They left me sitting in the ER waiting room for hours without anyone checking me out or apparently even considering stroke, despite my symptoms. Hello? What about the dead brain every few seconds? What about the mind saving drugs and interventions? Anyone? I guess the mother#%*!ers don't listen to the radio. This is the same brain trust that didn't suspect excruciating pain in the abdomen might be an appendicitis, even though it was the first thing that occurred to me.

I wanted to just get up and leave. If they'd taken one more person with a runny nose ahead of me, I would have.

I hate that *&^$@ing emergency room. You just sit in a tiny room for hours on end. If you're lucky, the doctor pops in maybe once or twice. The rest of the time is long bouts of nothingness interspersed with being wheeled off to an occasional test. You never really know what is happening.

At one point they injected me with something "for dizziness" that made me start sweating profusely and feeling... best description... "weird."

"Weird" doesn't satisfy nurses.

"What are you feeling?"

"Strange."

Oddly enough, that satisfied her. ?!?!?!?!

Eventually they admitted me "for observation," where I spent the rest of the week eating hospital food, watching reality show marathons on VH1, and worrying about my cat. The hospital stay was a lot like the ER visit, but with TV. They should put TV or some other diversion in those ER rooms. People in the waiting room get TV and they're not even having their wallets sucked dry.

I had my first MRI. For those who've never had one, it's like being mechanically wedged into a skin tight coffin which someone then starts jackhammering. I expected to meet a nice family of spelunkers squeezing their way through.

A day or two later they shoved me back in it for an MRA. Yeah, I didn't know MR's came in multiple flavors either. I wonder how many letters of the alphabet they can attach to MR. MRX, -Y, -Z, anyone? If they'd sent me down for an MR-epsilon I'd have known they were just jerking me around. That great sucking sound south is my insurance company going under.

The good news is all my tests came back negative. That's good. I've had stroke-like symptoms in the past that -- in the wake of all the PSA's -- worried me in retrospect. If I did ever have a "mini stroke" it apparently didn't do any permanent damage.

The bad news is all my tests came back negative. I'm still messed up and have no idea what is wrong. That is the way it always is with me, dammit -- a gazillion tests with nary a cause in sight.

So, now I'm home and exceedingly worse off than I was the previous week. I'm consistently dizzy. At least once a day the world spins and I flop over. I have to use a walker. I'm not supposed to drive. The cat throws a fit every time he gets a notion I'm heading for the door, apparently afraid I'm going to leave him alone again. Oh well, I got out of cooking for a week.

*SIGH* And I'd just convinced myself I might -- might -- make it through the holidays unscathed. Oh me of little faith.


Comments (Page 2)
2 Pages1 2 
on Jan 09, 2006
Um, do I have to reply to everyone?

Oh, okay...

Update: I had a follow up visit Saturday. My doctor has settled on a diagnosis of Benign Positional Vertigo (BPV -- and boy was it amusing watching the Dr. try to pronounce that). Of course, that was his almost snap decision, prior to any tests, and he's never varied from it. Me, I like evidence. And it totally ignore the numbness and other symptoms, but what the hay? Let's nail that sucker down before it blows away!

A couple of days, I've been almost completely okay (or as "okay" as I ever get). Unfortunately those days aren't sequential.

I haven't fallen over for a while -- though I certainly came close several times yesterday.

I'm on Amoxicillin just in case it's an ear infection, and some sort of medication supposedly for dizziness, though dizziness is listed as a side effect. I don't even want to know.

I guess I have to just wait for it to pass. Oh the joy.



Wow, sorry to hear about your health issues.


Thank you.

Have you seen a neurologist?


He's the one who ordered the MR's.

There has to be some reason you are feeling this way despite the negative test results (just means they didn't run the correct test yet).


Heh, or they don't know it exists yet. I've been down that road, it led to my hatred of doctors. I avoid them if at all possible, to my own detriment, I'm sure.


I hope that you're feeling MUCH better in the near future.


Thank you.


Did they do a spinal tap? They should have.


No, they didn't. After having seen The Exorcist so many times, I'm not even sure I would consent to one.

I'm sending you an email, so you'd better respond, mister.


I, um, I, um.

I changed ISP's last week, but I did take the time Sunday night to get the SMTP working so I'll go dig out your email.


Gene, sorry to hear about your mishap, hope they find the problem soon.


I wish they would, but I always go in expecting them to not find anything. Even the appendix was a last minute thing where, apparently, some technician finally said, "Do you think it could be an appie?" It would have been nice if that had occurred to the doc's, oh, 9 hours earlier!


If you were a UK citizen (or preferably an immigrant from the former USSR) then the NHS would have no problem spending my taxes on caring for you old chap.


I'll pass, thank you. (I'd babble on about nationalized health care here, but this response will already be too long.)


Have you seen an ear/throat/nose doctor? 


They were supposed to send me to one, then if that turned up nothing, send me back to the neurologists, but my doctor has pretty much settled on BPV and didn't say anything more about it last Saturday. I assume that plan is now defunct.

Try a good antihistamine and see if that relieves your symptoms at all, I recommend Alka Seltzer Plus.


I have so many allergies, I'm frequently antihistamined anyway. One of the medicines they gave me is an antihistamine. It doesn't seem to do much though. I threw an extra antihistamine in on top of it, still no positive results.


it could be a severe histamine reaction


You should see me having a bad allergic reaction. My entire face swells and contorts. I look like a pre-surgery Mickey Rourke in Johnny Handsome. (A post-surgery Mickey Rourke is pretty bad, too.)

i'd been wondering why you suddenly seemed to have disappeared.


Someone noticed!

I felt ill for the two weeks prior. I still feel like crap. Oh well.


just wanted to let you know I'm concerned, too.


Thank you.


Welcome back


I don't know how back I am. I'm still feeling miserable and in a generally misanthropic mood. I'm thinking of starting a major project, and I should be writing for my own website instead of JU. I spend too much time here. My presence may decrease considerably soon.


I have had stroke like issues for years.  I'll have the left half of my body be numb and lose the peripheral vision in my left eye.


I've lost most of my vision and not been able to use my right hand more than once. It hasn't happened for three or four years, though.

I have been admitted to the hospital and seen a neurologist.  When he couldn't figure out what was wrong, he sent me home with the encouraging words of "I think you'll just get better.  If not, come back". 


Gee, thanks, Doc.

I don't think they take it seriously enough. What good are these damned PSA's and press releases if when you try to follow the advice, you try to do the right thing, the ambulance wants to leave you by the side of the road, the ER workers leave you sitting for hours in the waiting room, and no-one really seems to care? I'm pissed. I may stir up trouble.


bankruptcy laws were changed in several US states.


It was a change to federal law, so it affected all the states. As with yearly taxes, most people waited till the very last second, causing a panicked rush. (shakes head) That's a good demonstration of the lack of diligence that led them to bankruptcy.

Time was they would be just sent to the workhouse to die.


And buried with a stake of holly through their hearts, no doubt.


Do you know who I am?


Better question would be "Do we care?"


Now, now, Sir Peter is man of accomplishment and refinement, renowned the world over!

Three hurrahs for Sir Peter! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

Did those penguins go marching for sex? No! They heard rumour Sir Peter was on expedition!

Three hurrahs for Sir Peter! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

Sir Peter, who has singlehandedly propped up the economy of the entire African continent -- one colony girl at a time!

Three hurrahs for Sir Peter! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

Sir Peter, who goes out of his way to lift up peasant girls and give them a chance to touch nobility -- by marriage or mounting.

Three hurrahs for Sir Peter! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

Sir Peter whose manipulations and finances have contributed such men as Tony Blair and George W. Bush to the world.

Three hurrahs for Sir Peter! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

Sir Peter, giver of refuge to drunken nobles! defender of the crown! the model man for every man in every age!

Three hurrahs for Sir Peter! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
on Jan 09, 2006
Now, now, Sir Peter is man of accomplishment and refinement, renowned the world over!

Three hurrahs for Sir Peter! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

Did those penguins go marching for sex? No! They heard rumour Sir Peter was on expedition!

Three hurrahs for Sir Peter! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

Sir Peter, who has singlehandedly propped up the economy of the entire African continent -- one colony girl at a time!

Three hurrahs for Sir Peter! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

Sir Peter, who goes out of his way to lift up peasant girls and give them a chance to touch nobility -- by marriage or mounting.

Three hurrahs for Sir Peter! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

Sir Peter whose manipulations and finances have contributed such men as Tony Blair and George W. Bush to the world.

Three hurrahs for Sir Peter! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

Sir Peter, giver of refuge to drunken nobles! defender of the crown! the model man for every man in every age!

Three hurrahs for Sir Peter! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!


I see you are feeling better
on Jan 09, 2006
yeah...but has he ever shot an elephant in his pyjamas?
on Jan 10, 2006

It was a change to federal law, so it affected all the states. As with yearly taxes, most people waited till the very last second, causing a panicked rush. (shakes head) That's a good demonstration of the lack of diligence that led them to bankruptcy.

Tell me about it!  I was a Bankruptcy widower for the first half of October! (My Wife is a paralegal in the field).  I actually took her into the office at 10pm on the 16th to meet with a client! (I refused to allow her to go alone at that hour).

on Jan 11, 2006
I see you are feeling better


I always joke, regardless of temperament. That's the way my brain works.

I've been wondering if it's a bad idea to make the ER staff laugh. Does it cause them to take me less seriously? But a punchline's a terrible thing to waste.


(I refused to allow her to go alone at that hour).


I wouldn't let my woman go alone, either.


yeah...but has he ever shot an elephant in his pyjamas?


I've shot in my pajamas, but never an elephant.

I wouldn't begin to know how to explain that to the ER.


yeah...but has he ever shot an elephant in his pyjamas?


No, but I bet he's mounted a few naked.


She told me she was a sheep.

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