The random thoughts of a genius...er...gene nash.
no, it's not a fetish
Published on November 7, 2005 By Gene Nash In Humor

I don't know if this is better or worse than a few months ago when the Catholic Church decided to advertise for new priests on beer mats.

Somewhere in Sydney Australia, Anglican priest Rev. David "The Fighting Father" Smith has come up with a unique way to promote his website -- toilet tablets emblazoned with his image and website URL. (Or should that be URinaL?)



Some of Father Dave's other promotions include an e-book entitled Sex, The Ring, and The Eucharist, regular fight nights, and the website feature "Buy Me a Drink" where users can donate money by figuratively buying the good Father a wee pint. And he's not even Irish!

"(I) only apologise that I didn't respond with some clever video footage of me raising a glass to the webcam and saying 'cheers' or something like that," he says.

In response to criticism his toilet tablets tarnish the church's image, Father Dave responds, "If you're trying to communicate with men who frequent pubs, tell me a better way of getting 30 seconds of their undivided attention."

Only 30 seconds? These boys need to drink more! Obviously these are men without prostate problems.

Some of the tablets have a speaker that yells at those who hit it square on. It might be worth hanging around an Australian pub just to see the reaction of the first hapless drunk when a toilet starts reprimanding his aim. This sounds like Father Dave's version of "scared straight."

I'd like a piece of this action. This could be the holiday season's biggest novelty gift. Let's see, what could toilet tabs yell out? "Here now, put that thing away!" Maybe a female voice, "Oooo, you're a big boy, aren't you?" And for the hip-hop set, a bit of sampling, "You call that a knife? That's not a knife. That's a knife!"

And you thought Oral Roberts came up with some far out, crazy stuff. At least you don't see we pentecostal/evangelical types staring up at you from the bowl. (Okay, maybe Jimmy Swaggert that one time, but to our credit we threw him out of the Assembly of God for it.)

Somehow I don't think this is what St. Paul meant when he said "come boldly to the throne."


Comments
on Nov 07, 2005
This is just wrong on so many levels!
on Nov 07, 2005
Guess we need to wiat and hear from the Aussies on who this guy really is.......
on Nov 07, 2005
This could be the holiday season's biggest novelty gift


maybe...."ho ho ho! here you are pissing away your paycheck while santa is gettin ready to come down your chimney?

that oughta be enuff to make anyone run to the window and throw up the sash.
on Nov 07, 2005
This is just wrong on so many levels!


Wrongness with depth is always better than shallow wrongness.


Guess we need to wait and hear from the Aussies on who this guy really is.......


He's really an Anglican priest. It's not a Sir Peter-type incident. I realize my portrayal may have come off negative -- the Great Snarky Spirit came upon me again -- but I actually like the guy.


that oughta be enuff to make anyone run to the window and throw up the sash.


I hope he zips up first. He could get arrested if he tries getting the kid to go buy a big, prize turkey when his cornish game hen is hanging out the window.

(The previous insanity provided by Mixed Christmas Metaphors 'R' Us.)

This could be the holiday season's biggest novelty gift


Maybe I spoke too soon. A couple of drunken Carolina Panthers cheerleaders got arrested last night after having sex with each other in a Florida nightclub's bathroom.

I'm thinking toilets outfitted with airbags as a safety measure for the highly inebriated. And if the air bag just happens to be in the shape of an inflatable woman when it pops out....

"But, officer, I was just trying to hang on for dear life. Nothing else was going on. I swear."

Just add cameras and you've got a new series for FOX. America's Funniest Bathroom Videos No... When Toilets Attack! Much better.

Wait there's a call... okay... I've just been informed I've exceeded my toilet humour allotment for this year. No more potty references till January.

Well, there goes the blog till next year....
on Nov 07, 2005

He's really an Anglican priest. It's not a Sir Peter-type incident. I realize my portrayal may have come off negative -- the Great Snarky Spirit came upon me again -- but I actually like the guy.

No, I meant how he is taken over there.  I hear the Catholic Bishop says some outrageous things, but then the Aussies weigh in and basically give us a background on him that shows he is whacky!  Maybe this guy is just whacky?  Or maybe he is dead serious and someone trying on a new frock this time that is too tight?

on Nov 07, 2005
Maybe this guy is just whacky?  Or maybe he is dead serious and someone trying on a new frock this time that is too tight?


Well, he does seem fairly Liberal, so...

Seriously, though, I was kinda hoping he was joking and that if anyone actually tried ordering one he would write back, "What, are you nuts?"



It is attention getting, though.
on Nov 07, 2005

Seriously, though, I was kinda hoping he was joking and that if anyone actually tried ordering one he would write back, "What, are you nuts?"

I would love to see that!

on Nov 07, 2005
"He's really an Anglican priest. It's not a Sir Peter-type incident."

Whatever could you mean old boy?

www.poppy.org/Ways_to_donate/Your_Donation_Choices.html

Give generously for the fallen soldiers of the British Empire.
on Nov 08, 2005
"He's really an Anglican priest. It's not a Sir Peter-type incident."

Whatever could you mean old boy?


Wasn't there a story several years ago where two priests were accosting young lower-class women, saying, "Open your mouths, dears, your betters have to urinate," then laughing as the terrified girls ran off in tears? I think it ran under the headline Vile Priests Terrorize Innocents! A couple of churches were burned down when their clergy were accused of being the culprits. In the end it turned out not to be priests at all but you and Lord Rathborne after getting bored at some sort of Vicars and Tarts event and slipping out to find your own fun.

I'm sorry if I got the story wrong or it was false reporting. That's what I get for reading The Guardian. Mea culpa. My sincerest apologies.


www.poppy.org/Ways_to_donate/Your_Donation_Choices.html

Give generously for the fallen soldiers of the British Empire.


Yep, you nailed me! You caught me subtly trying to direct support to Father Dave under the guise of innocent frivolity. I plead guilty.

Here, let me make that link live for you, since the system won't allow anon users to do so.


Support The Poppy Appeal 2005

www.poppy.org/Ways_to_donate/Your_Donation_Choices.html


And while you're at it, visit Sir Peter Maxwell.com.
on Nov 08, 2005
I think this just may be another (albeit more CREATIVE) attempt of a Catholic Priest to see your dina a ling.

Sorry Doc I just couldn't help myself!

Nothin but love 4 u!
on Nov 08, 2005

I think this just may be another (albeit more CREATIVE) attempt of a Catholic Priest to see your dina a ling.

Sorry Doc I just couldn't help myself!

Nothin but love 4 u!

That's ok, but this time it is an Anglican.  That is what has Sir Petey so upset!

on Nov 08, 2005
Well anything that has Sir Petey upset can't be all THAT BAD! Buwhahahaha