So you think journalists are scum, eh? We have no standards? There's nothing wrong with Michael Moore because he is just doing what we do? (You might like to ask Michael Finkel, Jason Blair, Stephen Glass, et al about that one.)

        I'd just like to disinvite those of you holding such views from ever reading my blog again. I wouldn't want the scum to sully your perfect little, rose petal smelling fingers.

        Just, while you're at it, would you do me a favor? Also (since we're all so scummy, you know) please don't pick up any newspapers, or watch any cable news channels, and if you accidentally click on the local news please keep clicking as fast as you can so you don't become defiled. Should you have that fish and chips? It may have absorbed some of the scum. Oooo, what about all those news feeds on websites? Better get some filtering software. Magazines? You don't need no stinkin' magazines! If you could limit yourself to novels -- that would be good, too. As long as they weren't written by scum, of course. Heck, just take a sledgehammer to your radio.

        Don't worry, you won't be uninformed. What do we lying, slanted, scum have to tell an oracle such as yourself anyway? I'm sure you don't know more than 90% of what you know from us. You part-psychics can obviously glean all the facts you need from the ether.

        Just to be on the safe side -- before you believe anything anyone tells you, better find out where they got it. They were probably infected by one of us scummy journalists. I swear, we spread faster than AIDS.

        Yours,
        "The Journalist Scum"