The random thoughts of a genius...er...gene nash.
where's the love?
Published on February 26, 2005 By Gene Nash In Movies & TV & Books
From the time I was a child, up until my early 20's, I watched the Oscars every year. During that time I saw an injustice rise, an injustice that is getting too outrageous to continue.


What are the Oscars about? They are about peers recognizing each other for their artistic achievements. That is the core of the Oscars' purpose. The greed merchants who currently oversee the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences have corrupted and co-opted that purpose.

When I was a child, everyone who won an Oscar had their time to shine. Everyone got to stand on stage, thank those who contributed to their achievement, and have their moment in the sun. And the Oscars were long.

Then someone decided that the Oscars were too long. "Why do we need all those long boring speeches?" (Yes, much better to have even longer, even more boring production numbers.) "Let's set a time limit on the 'thank you's'!" And the Oscars were even longer.

"Let's make the time limit shorter and set 'thank you' guidelines." And the Oscars got longer.

"Let's bribe them if they'll keep it below a certain time." Looooooonger.

It gets worse and worse. They continue to chip away at the one thing that is the Oscars' purpose, recognizing people. They do it under the lame excuse of "the show's too long," but the show never shortens!


I thought it had reached it's nadir a few years ago when we had some poor guy who had probably his only chance to ever win an Academy Award and show gratitude to those who helped, begging to be allowed to finish while the orchestra crescendoed, the cameras cut away, and people began pushing him, contrasted with Warren Beatty babbling on incoherently and interminably after being given a lifetime achievement award. That first man was practically crying. He had his one moment brutally ripped from him. We had true heartfelt emotion thrown away for the morbidity inducing spectacle of a former star embarrassing everyone who ever knew or liked him.

True to form, however, just when I think something has dropped as low as it can go, it proves me wrong. This year the Academy Awards will reach a new low. This year, those unworthy of public adulation won't even be allowed to set foot on the stage. This year, the "little guys" will have to stay in their seats, while a camera is shoved in their faces and an Oscar dropped on their laps. "Make it quick, bub, we gotta keep the people interested so they stick around for our billion dollars a second commercial spots." Here's your Oscar, now get lost!


I submit to you that the nobody/Warren Beatty continuum is what the Oscars are about. You can let the stars make fools of themselves while letting the nobodies have their moment. It's supposed to be about the industry saluting its own. Was it a little boring hearing the endless "thank you's" from people we didn't know? Yes, but the show is still boring anyway. At least it could be boring and stay true to its purpose. Besides, there were many nuggets of gold in that mud. Now all we've got is mud.

The Academy Awards show has become nothing more than pandering to unseen masses so we can maybe get ratings big enough to justify our price gouging the networks outrageous sums of money to broadcast our little dog and pony show. Show us the money, we'll show you the stars, and everyone else be damned.


Fire Gil Cates. Cut the production numbers. Cut the long introductions/walk outs of presenters -- we know who they are. Cut the boring "we're so clever, look at us try to make silk out of sow's ears" repartee before they tell us the nominees. And let the people have their say. It's about them, not Martha and Joe in Illinois getting their star-watching rocks off.

What I'd really like to see is the awards go back to their roots. Take them off live television. Turn them back into an all-night party in a hotel ballroom, where the industry and the industry alone can really celebrate itself. Then if you want to tape it and show an edited version later, fine. But that's never going to happen as long as the drachma is flowing.

Academy, I'd ask you how it feels to sell your soul, but I don't think you had one to begin with.



Comments
on Mar 03, 2005
It wasn't as bad as I'd feared or was lead to believe it would be, mainly because they only pulled it 3 or 4 times.

Their alternate trick of the night was to bring all the nominees from certain non-glam categories up on stage while the nominees were announced. I can't help but think how horrible that must be. It's stressful enough sitting in you seat waiting to hear if your name is read or not. I really wouldn't want to be on stage like an American Idol wanna-be, waiting to be either exalted or crushed. Too stressful.

Again, they could save just as much time and double the amount of time given to people to speak if they'd only cut the presenters walk to the microphone, more of the cheesy introductory talk, and the host's occasional comedy bit. (Chris Rock's visit to a South Central Magic Johnson Theater hearkened back to David Letterman's egg laying efforts.)

Chris Rock did have one good line about this, though. After one awarding an Oscar in the audience, he said next year they were just going to give the unworthies their Oscars in the parking lot. "We're going to have a drive-through Oscars."

That's about right. They don't have anywhere else to go but not even letting them in the building. It's surprising they haven't already relegated them to the separate "technical awards."
on Mar 03, 2005
I found the Oscars really tacky this year.

Beyonce singing nearly every song was really overkill. She can barely speak English half the time in interviews and she sings in French?

The guy who won for the Spainsh song who then sang it acapella. A great 'Take that, Glen Cates' moment.

Receving the Oscars in the aisles was totally inapproriate. I agree with you what said. You hit the nail on the head.