Hit Me Baby One More Time

more bad tv from nbc

Published on June 10, 2005 By Gene Nash In Movies & TV & Books

I'm beginning to wonder what American networks would do without English program creators to pillage. NBC in particular can't find the trick to successfully translating its British imports.

The concept:
Gather as many one hit wonders and has beens as you can and parade them before the audience to wonder over their sad reenactments of the one hit.

The come-ons:
"What do they look like now?" Mostly old and chubby.
"Do they still have what it takes?" With a few exceptions, no.

The host:
Talentless, generic, youthful British presenter who looks like Clark Kent with buckteeth.

The good news:
It's only scheduled for 3 weeks.

The Bad News:
It's boring. There is some moderate thrill in the singing of the originals, especially if you were a fan of the individuals or particularly enjoyed one of the chosen songs. It would make a mildly diverting half hour show.

The problems come as they try to stretch it to an hour by cycling through the performers a second time as we hear them cover (read "embarrassingly ruin") someone else's songs and by introducing a sad contest element in which the studio audience votes for their favorite performer of the evening.

The only way the contest element would work is if the home audience got to vote. Otherwise, it's just an uninvolving afterthought. Splitting the show into two half hours over two nights might work, allowing the home audience time to vote and giving them a reason to carry over to the second half hour.

But the weakest element would still remain -- that gratuitous second helping that leaves the stomach unsettled and makes you wish you hadn't ruined the initial sup with your gastronomic greed.

If listening to the strained notes of unpracticed vocal chords doing their own songs, wherein nostalgia is the only draw these people have, is taxing, how much more so is hearing the ruination spread to previously unsullied verses? It's like finding the virginal girl you always longed for in the remainder bin at Sluts Videorama.

Maybe if they would mix it up some, give us some variety, instead of the exact same performers, in the exact same order, with the exact same format, twice in a row. It's tedium. How about intro, hit rehash, what you doing now, second song, then on to the next performer? At least it would flow better and intersperse the hits all the way through, which is really the only thing the show has going for it.

They even profile the performers twice, the first time to remind us of then, the second to give us a glimpse of now.

Almost without exception, the second profile portrays the performer hard at work on their next project, regardless of how far removed they are from whatever talent they might have once displayed. "Sure I'm a computer programer with a small firm now and my bosses constantly ride me like a monkey on a circus pony, but that's just till my new album is finished!"

It's like the phone call to appear gave hope to the hopeless. In that sense Hit Me Baby One More Time is nothing but Viagra that subjects more than just the old lady to the resurrection of the fallen.

Comments

Dusk411

on Jun 10, 2005

I was disappointed in the show, too. I intially watched out of curiousity after accidently coming across the British version on the 'Net.

I watched the first week for Tiffany and to hear her perform "Breakaway." However, the show just dragged on and I couldn't wait for it to be over.

I think they needed to gather a better bunch of also-rans. Actually audition them instead taking whoever says yes. I would love to see some of my favorite singers from the 80s. How about a poll of performers to choose from and like you mentioned, more interaction with the viewing audience.

Great article

Gene Nash

on Jun 15, 2005

Good ideas, Dusk.

The second week performers were better, but the thing still dragged.

I might watch week 3 just long enough to see what Irene Cara looks like.

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