At first I couldn't see what the authors of this article had to complain about. Then I looked closer at the pictures. OMG! What a sneaky trick!

WASHINGTON, D.C.
Presidential Hall
Dwight D. Eisenhower Executive Office Building

Nov. 22, 1:11 p.m. EST

Even hardened beltway insiders were shocked speechless when President Bush turned the annual pardoning of the "National Thanksgiving Turkey" into a political stunt.

"There were children there!" said one west winger who demanded anonymity. "Everyone knew something like this was coming -- that's why the Dems have been pressing for guarantees -- but to use the children in this manner is... well... the work of an evil doer."

Bush brushed aside criticism accusing his administration of a covert conspiracy to select the pardonee, calling the pardon recipient "the people's turkey" and saying "(he) made it here through a democratic process."

A collective gasp filled the room as the pardon recipient was unveiled. One shocked woman was heard to mumble, "Isn't that?!"

President Bush quieted the room with a hard stare and insisted, "I'm going to grant a pardon this afternoon!"

"The president called him 'Marshmallow,'" sneered the anonymous insider. "But everyone here knows who that was his little nickname for. George would always smirk and laugh and say, 'Lookee there! He scoots just like a marshmallow!' This was just wrong. He did this in a way that made a mockery of our entire system."

While most Thanksgiving pardonees retire to farms, no-one was surprised to hear that today's recipient will be given privileged treatment.

"So I'm proud to announce that Scoo... um... Marshmallow and Yam," said the President, referring to the National Turkey and his designated alternate, "will serve as honorary grand marshals at Disneyland's Thanksgiving Day Parade. And they'll go on to spend the rest of their natural lives at Disneyland."

A visibly irate Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid immediately called a press conference where he foamed through clenched teeth, "Those blasted Republicans! You have to watch them every second!"