The random thoughts of a genius...er...gene nash.
darn you, montecore!
Published on December 1, 2005 By Gene Nash In Entertainment

Las Vegas television is obsessed with Siegfried and Roy. More than 2 years after their show closed because the tiger named Montecore gored Roy, we're treated to weekly updates on the former magicians. Sometimes it seems like they do a Breaking News alert every time Roy leaves the mansion.

It's driving me crazy. I don't care! Leave me alone! No-one but Siegfried cares about Roy and we're not to sure about his commitment, publicity machine not withstanding. (Weren't these two rumored to be "divorcing" several years before the attack?)

It's so bad I'm surprised they don't have daily updates on Roy's bowel movements, complete with grainy, closed-circuit footage of Roy's paralytic face half scrunched under the strain while Siegfried stands in the corner shouting, "You're doing it, Roy! You're really doing it!"

"Breaking News! Setback for Roy Horn -- diarrhea!"

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Immediately after the attack, one of the theories floated by the Siegfried and Roy camp was that a "big haired lady" in the front row had spooked the tiger, causing him to lash out. I swear, if I see one more update on Roy's condition I'm going to loiter around the "Secret Garden" till Roy comes to visit Montecore, glance both ways, then chuck a Marge Simpson doll over the fence.

We're counting on you Montecore, boy. Don't let us down again.


Comments
on Dec 01, 2005

then chuck a Marge Simpson doll over the fence.

But what you speak of is LA in general.  I was watching an LA station one day, and they were treating a rain storm (just rain - no wind or thunder) like the coming of Katrina!  The News caster was talking about how the whole city was in dire straights!  And if you did not have to be on the road, dont be!

I had to laugh!  It is just another DQ moment for the Talking heads of LA news!

on Dec 01, 2005
Since I was talking about Vegas television news, I'm a little confused, but I'll roll with it.

I agree that L.A. TV news outlets are mostly a wasteland of infotainment that is more concerned with celebrity plastic surgery than al-Qaeda attacks or local crime (car chases excepted).

I remember when Dallas Raines (sounds like he should be a TX weatherman, no?) got his doppler radar and spent months crowing that if someone spilled a drop of water in a restaurant he could pick it up on his radar and show it to us.

If there's even a hint of rainfall anywhere in the Pacific, they begin (cue dramatic music and ominous graphics) Stormwatch 2005! Blech.

To give them a slight tip of the hat, though, the entire area really does fall apart with the slightest rainfall. You'd think people in CA had never seen rain. Certainly the public officials haven't, because every time it rains the exact same intersections flood, the exact same storm drains overflow, the exact same things go all to hell again and again and as soon as the sun comes back out everything is forgotten and nothing ever fixed. Like it's so hard to note what is wrong, fix it when things dry out and not have the problem every December for the next 20 years. It's the stupidest, most mismanaged example of "infrastructure isn't sexy" you can ever find.

But we don't want to get me started on that topic....
on Dec 01, 2005

Since I was talking about Vegas television news, I'm a little confused, but I'll roll with it.

Sorry, I thought you were in LA (the Saints thing).  Las vegas is probably as bad, but I have not seen their stuff!

Still, good article!

on Dec 01, 2005
"big haired lady"


the ghost of judy garland?
on Dec 01, 2005
I remember when Dallas Raines (sounds like he should be a TX weatherman, no?) got his doppler radar and spent months crowing that if someone spilled a drop of water in a restaurant he could pick it up on his radar and show it to us.


i KNEW what was gonna happen and i was right. doppler 7 went online and we had 18 months of drought.
on Dec 01, 2005
the exact same intersections flood, the exact same storm drains overflow, the exact same things go all to hell again and again


occasionally the exact same idiots don't decide 'hey it's raining...i bet this would be a good time to drive my skateboard, bike, wagon, compact car, suv, jeep, van, ambulance, ups truck, tractor-trailor, tank across the concrete riverbed.' but thats only cuz they didn't survive the last time.
on Dec 03, 2005
Sorry, I thought you were in LA (the Saints thing).  Las vegas is probably as bad, but I have not seen their stuff!


I'm from L.A. Native Californians are rarer than Bigfoot sightings, but you're typing with one. (Native Californian, not sasquatch -- though I am fairly hairy, so I can see how the kids at the campsite made that mistake. Fortunately the drugs take effect so fast you hardly notice the pain from the dart.)

I'm on the CA/NV/AZ border right now. I get TV from two states (3 when I had cable) and radio from 3. At night I can pick up AM radio stations from San Francisco and L.A. Kinda cool.

When I had cable I watched the news from L.A., but since losing it last year, I've switched to Vegas. (I don't know Phoenix, I don't care about Phoenix, Phoenix can keep their TV. Sorry, Phoenix. To me you're just a pitstop on the way to Orlando.)

In some ways Vegas TV is slightly better than L.A. They don't have so much of an entertainment obsession. I once saw someone explain that away by saying all industry towns focus inordinately on their industry, and L.A. is an industry town with showbiz as their industry.


the ghost of judy garland?


I can believe she'd be floating around Siegfried and Roy (or vice versa). I'm surprised the tigers aren't used to her by now, though. Maybe that was just Lorna Luft passed out on the couch.

i KNEW what was gonna happen and i was right. doppler 7 went online and we had 18 months of drought.


Hehehe. I felt kinda sorry for him. It was like, "I'm sure there will be rain any day now then you'll see..." and he'd start describing what we'd be seeing if it would actually rain. Sad. Mock-worthy, but sad.

'hey it's raining...i bet this would be a good time to drive my skateboard, bike, wagon, compact car, suv, jeep, van, ambulance, ups truck, tractor-trailor, tank across the concrete riverbed.'


And this week saw several examples of the east coast version: skating on thin ice. *SIGH* I guess someone has to provide fodder for the Darwin Awards. (Or "Sad. Mock-worthy, but sad.")
on Dec 04, 2005

I'm from L.A. Native Californians are rarer than Bigfoot sightings, but you're typing with one. (Native Californian, not sasquatch -- though I am fairly hairy, so I can see how the kids at the campsite made that mistake. Fortunately the drugs take effect so fast you hardly notice the pain from the dart.)

So are 3 of my siblings and my stepfather!  Glad to see you are in such a rare club!