The random thoughts of a genius...er...gene nash.
Gene Nash's Articles In Humor
April 12, 2007 by Gene Nash
I don't know who's responsible, who may have made phone calls, or what strings may have been pulled, but after more than a week and a half I have been freed from my captivity under the counter of Laughlin's only falafel stand/pool concession "Falaughlin World."

I'm now free to blog again and go about my business as if nothing had happened. (The ten Iranian grandchildren of Falaughlin World's owners, who pummeled and kidnapped me from the community pool to begin with, made it very clear it was...
April 12, 2007 by Gene Nash
I don't know who's responsible, who may have made phone calls, or what strings may have been pulled, but after more than a week and a half I have been freed from my captivity under the counter of Laughlin's only falafel stand/pool concession "Falaughlin World."

I'm now free to blog again and go about my business as if nothing had happened. (The ten Iranian grandchildren of Falaughlin World's owners, who pummeled and kidnapped me from the community pool to begin with, made it very clear it was...
April 11, 2007 by Gene Nash
Please excuse the misplaced 3s. As you read this article, you'll discov3r I'm blogging from an Intern3t connected cash register with a sticky 3 3 E. (Damn!)

With the unseasonably warm weather came the d3cision to start the community pool season early. In a desperate attempt to cool off, I soaked in a vat of SPF 5000 and headed out.

I found it nec3ssary to keep mainly to the middle of the pool as the North Eastern corner had been claimed by 10 of Laughlin's 14 Iranian citizens (grandchildre...
April 11, 2007 by Gene Nash
Please excuse the misplaced 3s. As you read this article, you'll discov3r I'm blogging from an Intern3t connected cash register with a sticky 3 3 E. (Damn!)

With the unseasonably warm weather came the d3cision to start the community pool season early. In a desperate attempt to cool off, I soaked in a vat of SPF 5000 and headed out.

I found it nec3ssary to keep mainly to the middle of the pool as the North Eastern corner had been claimed by 10 of Laughlin's 14 Iranian citizens (grandchildre...
April 24, 2006 by Gene Nash
When foreverserenity posted Esquire's list of "59 Things A Man Should Never Do Past 30" it was suggested that someone should write a similar list for women. I decided to take up the cause. Here are the results. (The limiting to 29 is totally arbitrary. I actually wrote about 35 then trimmed it back.)


29 Things A Woman Past 30 Should Never Do
by Gene Nash

1. Date vacuous eye candy just because "he's hot." (A.K.A. The Trophy Boyfriend.)
2. Own more than 3 cats.
3. Put glitter on any p...
April 24, 2006 by Gene Nash
When foreverserenity posted Esquire's list of "59 Things A Man Should Never Do Past 30" it was suggested that someone should write a similar list for women. I decided to take up the cause. Here are the results. (The limiting to 29 is totally arbitrary. I actually wrote about 35 then trimmed it back.)


29 Things A Woman Past 30 Should Never Do
by Gene Nash

1. Date vacuous eye candy just because "he's hot." (A.K.A. The Trophy Boyfriend.)
2. Own more than 3 cats.
3. Put glitter on any p...
December 12, 2005 by Gene Nash
This article contains Adult Content. Please click on the article Title or Read More to view its contents.
December 12, 2005 by Gene Nash
This article contains Adult Content. Please click on the article Title or Read More to view its contents.
November 22, 2005 by Gene Nash
At first I couldn't see what the authors of this article had to complain about. Then I looked closer at the pictures. OMG! What a sneaky trick!

WASHINGTON, D.C.
Presidential Hall
Dwight D. Eisenhower Executive Office Building

Nov. 22, 1:11 p.m. EST

Even hardened beltway insiders were shocked speechless when President Bush turned the annual pardoning of the "National Thanksgiving Turkey" into a political stunt.

"There were children there!" said one west winger who demanded anonymity...
November 22, 2005 by Gene Nash
At first I couldn't see what the authors of this article had to complain about. Then I looked closer at the pictures. OMG! What a sneaky trick!

WASHINGTON, D.C.
Presidential Hall
Dwight D. Eisenhower Executive Office Building

Nov. 22, 1:11 p.m. EST

Even hardened beltway insiders were shocked speechless when President Bush turned the annual pardoning of the "National Thanksgiving Turkey" into a political stunt.

"There were children there!" said one west winger who demanded anonymity...
November 7, 2005 by Gene Nash
I don't know if this is better or worse than a few months ago when the Catholic Church decided to advertise for new priests on beer mats.

Somewhere in Sydney Australia, Anglican priest Rev. David "The Fighting Father" Smith has come up with a unique way to promote his website -- toilet tablets emblazoned with his image and website URL. (Or should that be URinaL?)



Some of Father Dave's other promotions include an e-book entitled Sex, The Ring, and The Eucharist, regular fight nights, a...
November 7, 2005 by Gene Nash
I don't know if this is better or worse than a few months ago when the Catholic Church decided to advertise for new priests on beer mats.

Somewhere in Sydney Australia, Anglican priest Rev. David "The Fighting Father" Smith has come up with a unique way to promote his website -- toilet tablets emblazoned with his image and website URL. (Or should that be URinaL?)



Some of Father Dave's other promotions include an e-book entitled Sex, The Ring, and The Eucharist, regular fight nights, a...
November 5, 2005 by Gene Nash
Tony-winning actress Sutton Foster -- yeah, I never heard of her either -- was rehearsing the musical The Drowsy Chaperone at the Ahmanson Theater in Los Angeles earlier this week when a funny thing happened on the way to the premiere.

During the number "I'm An Accident Waiting To Happen" she fell over and broke her arm.

That's called irony, folks.

I haven't been so amused by a story this week since the Baptist pastor stopped mid-baptism to grab a microphone and electrocuted himself.
...
November 5, 2005 by Gene Nash
Tony-winning actress Sutton Foster -- yeah, I never heard of her either -- was rehearsing the musical The Drowsy Chaperone at the Ahmanson Theater in Los Angeles earlier this week when a funny thing happened on the way to the premiere.

During the number "I'm An Accident Waiting To Happen" she fell over and broke her arm.

That's called irony, folks.

I haven't been so amused by a story this week since the Baptist pastor stopped mid-baptism to grab a microphone and electrocuted himself.
...
October 26, 2005 by Gene Nash
[Click here to listen to the audio version of this article! --> .MP3 (download) , .M3U (streaming MP3 format) ]


True! I am afraid -- very afraid -- and almost paralyzed with nervousness. The fear sets my nerves on end, gripping across me like a hand-knitted wool pullover in a surprise summer storm. My very soul is the unwilling victim this mongrel cur in heat humps away at.

Crazy? Insane? Of course that doesn't make me insane! I'm as sane as anyone else in this room. I... I can prove it!...