The random thoughts of a genius...er...gene nash.
Gene Nash's Articles In Humor » Page 2
December 12, 2005 by Gene Nash
This article contains Adult Content. Please click on the article Title or Read More to view its contents.
December 12, 2005 by Gene Nash
This article contains Adult Content. Please click on the article Title or Read More to view its contents.
November 22, 2005 by Gene Nash
At first I couldn't see what the authors of this article had to complain about. Then I looked closer at the pictures. OMG! What a sneaky trick!

WASHINGTON, D.C.
Presidential Hall
Dwight D. Eisenhower Executive Office Building

Nov. 22, 1:11 p.m. EST

Even hardened beltway insiders were shocked speechless when President Bush turned the annual pardoning of the "National Thanksgiving Turkey" into a political stunt.

"There were children there!" said one west winger who demanded anonymity...
November 22, 2005 by Gene Nash
At first I couldn't see what the authors of this article had to complain about. Then I looked closer at the pictures. OMG! What a sneaky trick!

WASHINGTON, D.C.
Presidential Hall
Dwight D. Eisenhower Executive Office Building

Nov. 22, 1:11 p.m. EST

Even hardened beltway insiders were shocked speechless when President Bush turned the annual pardoning of the "National Thanksgiving Turkey" into a political stunt.

"There were children there!" said one west winger who demanded anonymity...
November 7, 2005 by Gene Nash
I don't know if this is better or worse than a few months ago when the Catholic Church decided to advertise for new priests on beer mats.

Somewhere in Sydney Australia, Anglican priest Rev. David "The Fighting Father" Smith has come up with a unique way to promote his website -- toilet tablets emblazoned with his image and website URL. (Or should that be URinaL?)



Some of Father Dave's other promotions include an e-book entitled Sex, The Ring, and The Eucharist, regular fight nights, a...
November 7, 2005 by Gene Nash
I don't know if this is better or worse than a few months ago when the Catholic Church decided to advertise for new priests on beer mats.

Somewhere in Sydney Australia, Anglican priest Rev. David "The Fighting Father" Smith has come up with a unique way to promote his website -- toilet tablets emblazoned with his image and website URL. (Or should that be URinaL?)



Some of Father Dave's other promotions include an e-book entitled Sex, The Ring, and The Eucharist, regular fight nights, a...
November 5, 2005 by Gene Nash
Tony-winning actress Sutton Foster -- yeah, I never heard of her either -- was rehearsing the musical The Drowsy Chaperone at the Ahmanson Theater in Los Angeles earlier this week when a funny thing happened on the way to the premiere.

During the number "I'm An Accident Waiting To Happen" she fell over and broke her arm.

That's called irony, folks.

I haven't been so amused by a story this week since the Baptist pastor stopped mid-baptism to grab a microphone and electrocuted himself.
...
November 5, 2005 by Gene Nash
Tony-winning actress Sutton Foster -- yeah, I never heard of her either -- was rehearsing the musical The Drowsy Chaperone at the Ahmanson Theater in Los Angeles earlier this week when a funny thing happened on the way to the premiere.

During the number "I'm An Accident Waiting To Happen" she fell over and broke her arm.

That's called irony, folks.

I haven't been so amused by a story this week since the Baptist pastor stopped mid-baptism to grab a microphone and electrocuted himself.
...
October 26, 2005 by Gene Nash
[Click here to listen to the audio version of this article! --> .MP3 (download) , .M3U (streaming MP3 format) ]


True! I am afraid -- very afraid -- and almost paralyzed with nervousness. The fear sets my nerves on end, gripping across me like a hand-knitted wool pullover in a surprise summer storm. My very soul is the unwilling victim this mongrel cur in heat humps away at.

Crazy? Insane? Of course that doesn't make me insane! I'm as sane as anyone else in this room. I... I can prove it!...
October 26, 2005 by Gene Nash
[Click here to listen to the audio version of this article! --> .MP3 (download) , .M3U (streaming MP3 format) ]


True! I am afraid -- very afraid -- and almost paralyzed with nervousness. The fear sets my nerves on end, gripping across me like a hand-knitted wool pullover in a surprise summer storm. My very soul is the unwilling victim this mongrel cur in heat humps away at.

Crazy? Insane? Of course that doesn't make me insane! I'm as sane as anyone else in this room. I... I can prove it!...
August 21, 2005 by Gene Nash
As I lay in bed, staring out the window at the full moon, I pondered what I could use to fight off werewolves.

There's not much silver about the "silver"-ware. I doubt that any of what little jewelry I have is silver. In fact, I'm hard pressed to identify anything in the place that is certifiably silver.

In the old days you could pelt the hairy beasties with quarters and nickels. If you were really good at flickin' coin, you might break hide or penetrate an eye ("Don't do that or you'll pu...
August 21, 2005 by Gene Nash
As I lay in bed, staring out the window at the full moon, I pondered what I could use to fight off werewolves.

There's not much silver about the "silver"-ware. I doubt that any of what little jewelry I have is silver. In fact, I'm hard pressed to identify anything in the place that is certifiably silver.

In the old days you could pelt the hairy beasties with quarters and nickels. If you were really good at flickin' coin, you might break hide or penetrate an eye ("Don't do that or you'll pu...
June 21, 2005 by Gene Nash
If you're old enough, you may remember Gilda Radner's Saturday Night Live character Emily Litella.Emily would regularly appear on the news segment to rebut something she had heard during the broadcast. It always quickly became evident it was something she had misheard. For instance, instead of railing against a Supreme Court decision on the death penalty, Emily thought they were picking on the hearing impaired with a "deaf penalty." In another instance, Emily took a story about bussing children ...
June 21, 2005 by Gene Nash
If you're old enough, you may remember Gilda Radner's Saturday Night Live character Emily Litella.Emily would regularly appear on the news segment to rebut something she had heard during the broadcast. It always quickly became evident it was something she had misheard. For instance, instead of railing against a Supreme Court decision on the death penalty, Emily thought they were picking on the hearing impaired with a "deaf penalty." In another instance, Emily took a story about bussing children ...
June 18, 2005 by Gene Nash
I heard a horrible slur on Liberal women yesterday, and I just can't believe it.

I overheard two uncouth "gentlemen" (and I use the term very lightly) exchanging advice on "screwing" and one said to the other, "Just remember the old saying: Righty tighty, Lefty loosey."

OMG!

I don't know where they heard this "old saying," but it is patently ridiculous to think you could tell such a thing solely from a woman's political orientation!

I immediately challenged them, demanding, "Prove it...